搞笑的英语名言

1、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物！

Other people's money is my life a thing apart！

2、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！

In the river's lake， preferably bachelor！

3、不怕被人利用，就怕你没用！

Is afraid of being used but you don't！

4、不是变化快，而是你太菜。

Not change quickly， but you are too。

5、长得真有创意，活得真有勇气！

Long is really creative， live really have the courage！

6、废话是人际关系的第一句！

Nonsense is the interpersonal relations the first sentence！

7、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。

Don't than lazy with me， I'm too lazy to than with you。

8、英雄不问出路，流氓不看岁数。

Heroes do not ask a way out， the rogue don't look at age。

9、人生自古谁无死，哪个拉屎不用纸！

Everyone must die， which shit is not paper！

10、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。

The old niang eyes opened， you will know a uber。

11、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我？出自

I'm not RMB， how can let everyone like me？

12、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。

Don't talk to me about feelings， talk about feelings hurt money。

13、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇，而是时间。

Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair， but time。

14、只要锄头舞的好，那有墙角挖不倒？

As long as the hoe dance well， there's the corner dug to fail？

15、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？

No money， no power， don't point to you， can you tell me？

16、真的猛士，敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。

Really brave warrior， dare to face her face without makeup。

17、他们说我是bt，让我去做ct，结果我是et。

They say I'm a bt， let me to do ct， the result I am et。

18、没有不透风的墙，没有不能上吊的梁。

No windtight wall， no can't commit suicide by hanging of beam。

19、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齿还有爱情。

A cannot extricate oneself， in addition to the teeth with love。

20、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死埃。

I like you， so you like me will die。

21、人如果靠吃饭活着，那饭不叫饭，叫饲料。

If they eat to live， that rice not call rice， called the feed。

22、帅有个屁用！到头来还不是被卒吃掉！

Handsome have a fart to use！ In the end is not eaten by single！

23、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

As a monster， my wish is to eliminate at least one ultraman。

24、天赐你一双翅膀，就应该被红烧…

Gift you a pair of wings， you should be to braise in soy sauce……

25、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。

Hero sad beauty pass， I am not a hero， a beauty let me close。

26、怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。

Bosom just like pregnant， time is long can let a person see out。

27、想污染一个地方有两种方法：垃圾，或是钞票！

Want to pollution a place have two kinds of methods： trash， or money！

28、鸳鸯戏水，都***淹死；比翼双飞，都***摔死。

Girlfriend， his mother drowned； Fly wing to wing， all his mama fell dead。

29、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。

I thought I was decadent， today I just know， originally I had scrapped。

30、唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也。

Only women and English sorry， only the wife and work hard to find。

31、但两个人相遇，接下来的不是故事就是事故。

But two people meet， the following is not a story is the accident。

32、你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。

You make me roll， I roll。 You let me come back， I'm sorry， rolled away。

33、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混！

Read the book more than a decade， kindergarten to think of it is still relatively good mix！

34、如果你借太多的钱给一个人，你会令此人变成坏人。

If you borrow too much money to a person， you can make the person become bad guys。

35、不要吹牛逼、请把牛逼还给牛、因为牛也需要性生活！

Don't boast forces， please return the cow force to cattle， because cattle also need sex！

36、人之所以有一张嘴，而有两只耳朵，原因是听的要比说的多一倍。

The reason why people have a mouth， and have two ears， the reason is that listening to more than one times。

37、买了电脑不上宽带，就好比酒肉都准备好了却在吃饭前当了和尚。

Bought a computer on broadband， like wine meat are ready to live to when the monk before dinner。

38、喝药递瓶，上吊给绳，跳楼的挥着小手绢送行。

Drink medicine bottle， commit suicide by hanging to the rope， jumping out of small handkerchief waved off。

39、企业一定要有偷不去、买不来、拆不开、带不走，溜不掉的独特资源。

Enterprise must have a steal not to go， can't buy， not dismantle， take not to walk， to slip out the unique resources。